Chapter 7

"Finally something normal," Kylie said as she stepped out of the tunnel.

The air was clean and blades of grass sprang up around her boots - normally sized, not the towering behemoths they encountered a few days back. Evergreen trees were everywhere and sunlight streamed through the branches, illuminating patches of flowers here and there. Birds sang in the trees and a squirrel chittered somewhere nearby.

"You do realize we're still underground, right?" Groll said. "This is definitely not normal."

"Whatever," Kylie said. 

"With all this greenery, there's bound to be a stream or something," Helen said. "I need to take a bath."

"Take a bath?" Kylie said, gasping dramatically. "I never took you for a thief."

Groll groaned and Keevan tapped the orc on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear. 

"It was a terrible joke. You don't need to get it," Groll said, not bothering to whisper back.

"Stay sharp. Anything could be hiding in these woods. But we are low on supplies. We should establish this as our base camp and send individuals out foraging and hunting to replenish them," Brody said. "I will take the first hunting duty. Set up camp defensively against the side of the mountain near the tunnel entrance."

After giving orders, Brody removed his pack, pulled out his bow and quiver, and stepped into the forest. The others just stared after him, trying to process all he had said.

"That was… abrupt," Keevan said. 

"He must be distracted by his thoughts," Groll said.

"Okay then. We better get things settled, then, eh?" Helen said. "Keevan, be a dear and set up the fire over here? I have high hopes for a fresh meal tonight. Especially if someone can find us some vegetables…"

"Say peas," Kylie said, grinning. 

Groll groaned again.

"What, was that one too corny for you?" Kylie teased.

"Potatoes would be ideal, though anything helps!" Helen called as Kylie walked out of the camp.

"You know, dear," Helen said to Groll after Kylie had left. "I thought you had learned your lesson to not react to her taunting you with those jokes. You know she only makes them to get a reaction out of you, right?"

Groll blushed and tried to hide his face by turning around and fiddling with his pack. He began removing tent supplies and setting them up.

“She doesn’t make them solely for my reaction,” the orc said. “If that were true, she wouldn’t have started to begin with. Or kept making them when I made no reaction.”

“Groll, dear,” Helen said. “You should know by now that men and women don’t think the same. You betcha my late husband didn’t take this long to figure that out.”

“Wait,” Groll said, stopping his work and standing to face Helen. “Are you saying that she’s… flirting?”

“Oh, dear,” Helen said. “I have no idea. That girl makes about as much sense as government cheese.”

Groll scratched at his head under his hat. “So what do I do?” he asked.

Helen shrugged. “Do you want her to be flirting with you?”

“I…” Groll began, then plopped down into his chair. “I have no idea.”

Helen chuckled. “Good. Never trust a man who’s sure of anything,” she said, returning to setting up camp.


The scene shifts to reveal Keevan seated in front of a rock backdrop.


“Sometimes I feel like people just forget that I’m around,” Keevan said. “They’ll have these deep, personal conversations when I’m just a few feet away like I don’t exist. It’s insensitive. What if I was interested in Kylie? Not that I am, but nobody thought of that.”


The scene shifts back to the adventurer camp, Kylie having just arrived among them once more with a sack full of wild leeks and asparagus.


“Well done, dear,” Helen said, delighted. “These will make whatever Brody brings back a proper meal, don’tcha know. Assuming any wild game he finds doesn’t explode into ectoplasm.”

Groll looked between Kylie and Helen a few times before standing from his chair. “I’ll go look for Brody. See if he needs any help,” the orc said, hurrying out of camp.

Helen chuckled a bit as Groll left. Kylie looked confused, but shrugged and began getting her tent set up. Keevan had surprisingly already gotten his set up and was taking a nap inside, soft snoring emanating from within. Helen began preparing the vegetables, humming to herself as she did so.

About an hour later, Brody and Groll returned in the fading twilight. The orc had an entire deer carcass over one shoulder as Brody walked next to him, bow still at the ready. 

“Whoo!” Helen exclaimed. “I think we could stand to hang around here for a day or two and get our bodies back in shape, don’t you think? It’s a good time for an ample meal!”

“Venisn't it a good time for a harty meal?” Kylie said, grinning.

Groll began to groan but then coughed instead, covering his face with a fist and moving over with the deer closer to the fire.

“That would be tactically sound. We should be at our best. We can stay and hunt a while longer and can smoke our meat to be used later,” Brody said. “I discovered a stream nearby where we can fill canteens, as well. You all can clean and dress the deer while I make a water run.”

Groll began preparing the deer while the others handed over their water skins to Brody. Keevan’s was just outside his tent, so Brody retrieved the sleeping elf’s canteen himself before heading off again into the woods. 


The scene shifts to reveal Kylie seated in front of a rock background.


“Everybody is acting weird. I don’t like it,” Kylie said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.


The scene shifts back to the adventurers sitting around the fire in the morning light with venison-heavy breakfasts filling their plates.


"So, uh… anyone else already sick of venison?" Keevan asked, poking his meat with a fork. 

"It's only been two days! Also if you found me some more vegetables, we could have more variety," Helen said. "If I had my druthers, we'd have some nice, thick bread to eat with it."

"You know, you could probably call venison bread," Kylie said. "After all, it's just cooked doe."

Groll started to groan, but then paused and said, “That… was actually a good one. 

"I knew it! I knew you were secretly fawnd of my jokes," Kylie said, teasing.

"It's nutritious. And it gives us energy. I don't understand why its taste matters that much," Brody said. "It's not as if you need to plug your nose to eat it.”

“Food is more than just fuel. It's a farrago of flavors forging a fellowship toward fantastic, finger-licking felicity," Groll said. "Even orcs know how to appreciate a good meal."

Brody just shrugged and continued to chew his chunk of meat. Kylie seemed to second-guess her next bite after Groll's description of food. 

"I can try scouting farther out today. See if I can find an end to the forest. That woods be nice," Kylie said, smiling. 

"Yes. We have plenty of supplies. We can forge onward. I will also scout. We can cover more ground with the two of us," Brody said. "I'll leave now to the right, and follow the creek downstream. You go left."

Brody stood and grabbed his weapons. After he was geared and ready, he took one last bite of venison, chewing the lean meat as he left.

"Is it just me, or has he gotten more… brusque lately?" Keevan asked. 

"No I-deer. He's always seemed a bit hard to read to me," Kylie said. 


The scene shifts to Groll seated in his chair with a rock backdrop.


"Brody gets this way when he thinks. He doesn't do it often, so you don't see it. I don't mean to say he's brainless, he just focuses on combat," Groll said. "And he's very close to normal when he thinks about combat. When his mind goes to other things, that's when you get broody Brody."


The scene shifts back to the camp where Keevan, Helen, and Groll are seated around a space in the dirt, playing cards in their hands and arrayed on the ground.


“Fold,” Keevan said, tossing his cards to the ground.

“What’ll it be, Groll? You got the guts to stick it out?” Helen said, waggling her eyebrows up and down with a big grin on her face.

“Hey, now!” Kylie shouted from the treeline. “You guys are playing poker and you didn’t call me? That’s rude.”

“Fold,” Groll said, tossing his cards into the dirt.

Helen cackled, not unlike the sand witches, and pulled the few coins they were betting with towards her.

"Wait, is Brody still not back yet?" Kylie said, doing a quick count. "He left hours before I did."

“You know Brody,” Groll said. “We only have to worry if he’s not back before twilight.”

“In that case,” Kylie responded. “Deal me in.”

“I’m done,” Keevan said, standing up.

“Me, too,” Groll added, standing himself.

“I think I’ll take a quick break from cards for now, too. Sorry, dear,” Helen said, collecting her winnings and getting up from the ground, also.

“Oh, come on! You guys never want to play with me! Just because I kept winning the last time doesn’t mean I’ll win every time!” Kylie protested.

“It’s not that, dear,” Helen hedged.

“You cheated,” Keevan said.

“Me? Cheat?” Kylie said, acting overly offended. “I would never do such a thing! Besides, I don’t need to cheat. You all have tells.”

The three adventurers shared a look of disbelief. Groll went so far as to sit down and brush off his pants.

“And what exactly are these tells?” the orc asked, clearly skeptical.

“Well if I told you then they wouldn’t work, would they?” Kylie said, clearly proud of herself.

“I don’t buy it,” Keevan said.

“Oh, you think I’m bluffing? Also, you definitely buy it,” Kylie said, winking. “I saw your tell.”

Keevan’s face turned red. Helen’s eyebrow was cocked and she seemed to be considering the possibility that Kylie was just that good at reading people. Then she glanced at Groll and frowned.

The orc had his arms folded in front of him and held the same, impassive face that he always had. The same face he had in poker games. 

“You might have a read on Keevan and even me, but there’s no way Groll has a tell. His face is as still as a stone the whole way through,” Helen said.

“Oh, he certainly does,” Kylie said, smiling.

“Pack up!” Brody said, entering camp from the treeline. “There is… a new development.”

With that said, Brody walked past the group and began collecting his gear and disassembling his tent. The others stood, dumbfounded for a moment. Then they set to packing up, following their leader’s instincts.

“So what’s the new development?” Keevan asked, a bit worried.

“A lake. Or an ocean. The creek runs straight down to it. But it’s the dock on the beach that worries me,” Brody responded, still focused on compressing his equipment into a bundle.

“A dock? Like a pier? Was there a boat?” Kylie asked, excited.

“No boat. I searched along the perimeter for a while, looking for any sort of settlement or camp,” Brody replied. “Nothing. I didn’t approach the dock, but, from my vantage point, it didn’t appear to be suffering from disrepair. Though I could not identify the material it was made of.”

“So… what?" Kylie said. "We need to build a boat? We’ll be in here for months!”

“I believe Brody is saying that we go to the dock and wait for a boat to arrive. It shouldn’t be too long before we see one. Unless, of course, the dock is enchanted to not deteriorate in any way,” Groll said.

“Well, if we do find a ship… I am Pirate Captain Kylie! Avast, ye sea dogs! And keep those vegetables away from me ship!” Kylie said, pointing at the vegetables that Helen was packing away. “I don’t want any leeks!”

Groll groaned and started packing, ignoring the shadow-swashbuckling that Kylie was doing with a stick.


The scene shifts to reveal Brody seated in front of a rock background.


“Adventurer Tip: When taking care of things by yourself, it’s important not to rush things,” Brody said. “It’s more satisfying to savor the experience.”


The scene shifts to the adventurers walking along a small creek through the woods.


“Just up ahead,” Brody said softly. “You can see the trees give way to the sand up there.”

The group quietly walked through the woods until they were able to see the waves lap up onto the beach. Sand stretched out for about sixty yards before the water’s edge, leading right up to their position in the trees. The dock was out on the sand, too, running twenty feet or so into the water, just as Brody had described.

The boat that was docked there and the strange individuals offloading their unusual cargo were not part of the description that Brody had given them, however. An enormous, shimmering cage made of the same material as the dock and the boat was floating in the air above the vessel, being dragged over to the dock by three men holding ropes. The men also happened to have oddly-shaped heads and sets of specialty silk trousers made for their three pairs of legs. Their eight black eyes shone on their hairy, spider-like faces.

The contents of the cage was the most interesting thing, however. A fifteen-foot monster seemingly made from various spliced-together creatures thrashed against the bars. It had a scorpion tail and body, the wings of a wasp, a praying mantis’ grasping arms, and… the head of a very familiar mushroom.

“I should have known this kind of evil could only come from Arachmen,” Brody said quietly.

“Why are they called Arachmen?” Keevan asked, curious.

“Because they’re men and have clearly spider-like features,” Brody responded curtly.

“Why not call them Spidermen?” Keevan asked.

“Because that would be confusing,” Brody said absently, still looking at the Arachmen.

“Why?” Keevan asked, already confused.

Brody looked around a moment, slightly exasperated. “It just would be,” he said.

“So what’s our play?” Kylie asked. “Storm the beach and take out the Arachmen, stealing their boat and destroying the monster before they have a chance to let it loose?”

Brody took off his pack and lowered it to the ground. He pulled out his bow and quickly strung it, taking a few arrows in one hand and nocking one of them.

“I was thinking we stay in cover. Keevan opens up with a Fireball and I try to maim one with the bow,” Brody said. “Then, we kill the monster in the cage and we can make the survivor direct us to their home base.”

Kylie looked over at Helen, Groll, and Keevan. Then she shrugged.

“Sounds good to me. Have at it, boys,” She said. “But remember, I get to be the ship captain.”

“Maybe we should try talking to them, first? They could be friendly,” Groll said slowly.

“I forget that you weren’t part of the team when we ran into them,” Brody said. “They are evil to the core. We have… a history.”

“I just don’t like judging people by their appearance,” Groll said, pushing a bit more.

Brody hesitated and took in his towering friend and nodded, “I understand. Trust me this once?”

Groll searched his friend’s eyes for several moments, then nodded.

Keevan conjured up an orb of fire and launched it in the middle of the group of three Arachmen. The concussive blast knocked them all to the ground, all three aflame and flailing about in the sand to put it out. The thwang of a bow sounded and, a second later, an arrow buried itself in the chest of one of the downed adversaries. Then another thwang and an arrow was lodged in the side of a different one. 

Brody signaled for the others to follow him out of the woods. The adventurers walked briskly through the sand toward the rolling Arachman. The other two had gone still. 

When the adventurers arrived, their foe was charred and gasping for air. It reached for a slim saber at its side, drawing the blade and pointing it at Brody with a shaking hand. The human warrior looked into eight iridescent eyes and batted the sword away with his own. It fell from the weak grip of the Arachman.

"You will lead us to the source of these monsters," Brody said, pointing at the caged aberration.

The Arachman shook its head and hissed, raising a pair of large, detached, spider-like fangs threateningly.

"You will take us," Brody repeated.

The Arachman once again shook its head. It pulled its legs in closer to its body as if cowering, but the legs looked ready to spring.

Groll hefted his huge axe, bouncing one end up and down in an enormous hand. The Arachman's attention shifted to the big orc, deciding that this was the more dangerous enemy. 

When the lunge from the Arachman came, Brody was the quickest. A shield slammed into the side of the Arachman's head, knocking it back to the ground, unconscious. 

"They're creepy," Kylie said, bending down to get a better look at the motionless Arachman. "Wait, is it breathing?"

Kylie began to reach out a hand to check if it was still alive, but Brody caught her hand before she got too close. 

"It could be a ruse. They are cunning," Brody said. 

Groll took the back end of his axe and jabbed it at the senseless creature, but it didn't react. In fact, the body seemed entirely lifeless.

"Oh, dear," Helen tsked. "I think you may have hit him too hard."

"Are they… intelligent? People?" Groll asked.

"Yes," Brody said. "But Arachmen only ever choose to do evil."

"Many people say the same about orcs," Groll said solemnly.

Brody looked up at the pain in his big friend's eyes and nodded, touching him lightly on the arm. 

"It's getting dark," Brody said. "We'll set up camp here for the night. Then we'll take the boat in the morning. I doubt anyone is expecting this group back before morning, anyway."

"And that thing?" Kylie asked, pointing at the monster in the floating cage. "He doesn't seem like a very fungi."

Groll groaned and stalked off, finding a flat place to set up his tent. The others also began wandering away to set up their own camp, leaving Kylie alone to chuckle at her own joke.